I am finding that the more I date men the more I love Joe. I find myself staring at my phone willing the little light to flash telling me I have a text from the next potential Mr. Right. It's enough to make a girl crazy and I have better things to do with my time and energy!
I tell Joe every day that he is the only boy for me. He is always happy to see me and cannot seem to get enough of my attention. It got me to thinking, if Joe could text what would a day in the life of my cell phone look like:
3:45am Joe - "Hi!"
3:46am Joe - "Hi!, morning!"
3:50am Joe - "Breakfast?"
4:10am Joe- " I'm starving! Where is breakfast"
4:30am Melissa "Morning Joe, there is plenty of hay in your bale bag, breakfast is at 7:30, eat the hay in your bag there was at least 3/4 of a bale in it last night"
4:31am Joe -" Right! Forgot about that!"
4:32am Joe - "Breakfast hay??"
4:35am Melissa "At 7:30 just like every morning"
4:36am Joe - "K thanks!"
5:35 am Joe - "Wesley said he is hungry"
5:40am Melissa "Wesley is fine, breakfast is at 7:30 I am leaving for work now. Have a good day and stay out of trouble"
5:41am Joe - "Are you coming back????"
5:42am Melissa "Yes Joe, I will be home after 4:00pm, just like yesterday"
5:45am Joe - "K bye!"
7:30am Joe " BREAKFAST HAY IS HERE!!!"
7:40am Joe " Oatsies?"
7:50am Melissa "Oatsies are with dinner hay, just like last night and the night before"
7:51am Joe "Right!"
9:00am Joe "Hi!"
9:01am Joe "Hi!"
9:02am Joe "Hi!"
9:03am Joe "Hi!"
9:05am Joe " Wesley is going out to the pasture, when do I get to go out?"
9:06am Joe "HELLO???"
9:35am Melissa "I was in a meeting. We talked about turnout, you don't get to go out because you take your shoes off every single time. Eat the hay in your hay bag, I'll be home after 4:00pm"
9:36am - Joe "Oh right, cause my shoes fall off"
10:00am - Joe "Stall is getting cleaned!"
10:15am- Joe "Fresh shavings!"
10:16am - Joe "I peed!"
10:18am - Joe "and pooped!"
10:20am - Joe "Taking a nap"
11:00am - Joe " POOP ON MY FACE :)"
11:05am - Melissa "Oh Joe!"
11:05am - Joe "Lol you get to clean it off!"
12:00pm Joe "Hi"
12:01pm Joe "Hi"
12:02pm Joe "Hi, I'm bored. When are you coming home?"
12:05pm Melissa "After 4:00pm, at lunch now but I have a meeting at 3:00 will head home when it is over and should be in the barn by 4:25."
12:06pm - Joe "K, still bored"
12:07pm - Melissa "Wesley will be back in soon to keep you company"
12:30pm - Joe "WESLEY IS BACK! Going to play for a while so if you don't hear from me.."
12:35pm - Melissa "Stay out of trouble, NO teeth!"
1:00pm - Joe "HELP! OMG WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! IT IS GOING TO EAT ME!"
1:01pm - Melissa "What is going on?? Do I need to call Sarah"
1:02pm - Joe "Crashing in the woods behind the barn! WHAT IS IT?"
1:03pm - Joe " Just a deer, its all good, I'm chill now."
1:04pm - Melissa "%$#! Don't do that to me!"
1:05pm- Joe"Wesley and I are going to take naps now"
1:45pm - Joe " MORE POOP ON MY FACE!"
1:46pm - Melissa "Lovely"
2:00pm - Joe "I'M STUCK!!!"
2:01pm - Melissa "Back up"
2:02 pm - Joe "MY HEAD IS STUCK I CAN'T MOVE"
2:03pm Melissa - "Back up!"
2:04pm Joe - "OMG MY HEAD IS STUCK BETWEEN THE STALL DOOR AND THE STALL GUARD!!! I'LL BE LIKE THIS FOREVER"
2:05 Melissa - " BACK UP! Just like yesterday"
2:06pm Joe - "It's all good, I just had to back up to get out"
2:10pm Joe - "When are you coming home?"
2:11pm Joe - "Hello?"
2:15pm Melissa -" After 4:00pm but if you keep texting me it will slow me down and I will be later"
2:16pm Joe - "K. bye!
2:18pm Joe - "Are you going to say bye"
2:20pm Melissa - "Bye Joe, no more texts unless it is an emergency, I will be home after 4"
2:21pm Joe - "K, ttyl"
2:22pm Joe - "oops that was another text!"
2:23pm Joe - "So was that LOL
4:00pm Joe - " IT'S 4:00pm!"
4:02pm Melissa - "Leaving now"
4:20pm Joe - " I hear your truck!!"
4:22pm Melissa - "Just need to change clothes, be right there"
4:30pm Joe - "I SEE YOU!!! YAY"
Maybe I need to give the men that never text another try...