My Favorite Parts of Grace

I have said more than once, that I know Grace's body better than the back of my own hand. Even under her fuzzy winter coat I recognized them. I started to wonder, which of her many body parts are my favorite.

There is her tail, thick long and black. It is the first thing that most people notice about her. Oh, but look at that nice hip! Do you see that funny dent on her butt in the middle of the picture? That has been there since the first day I met her. It is coincidentally the same size of a young horses hoof. I've always wondered if she was on the loosing end of that fight. She also has an old scar on the other side that you don't see in the winter. It looks like it came from a rope, it's very small, but I know exactly where it is. I often get asked about it in the summer. Grace must have quite the story to tell about what her life was like before I met her as a 2 year old.

Then there is her mane. I love to bury my face in it the day after I wash it. It has that shower clean smell mixed with horse smell. Absolute heaven!

Her Ears! I love Grace's ears! They have those perfect black tips and just a hint of a curve at the top of them. Sometimes they stand up so straight forward I expect them to touch each other. They can also lay flat back, most often when chasing Belle the dog or anytime we get near cows.

Her neck, it is so beautiful when it stretches out in front of me. On the ground she uses it to give me a whole body hug. I love Grace's neck!

Oh my that nose! It just doesn't get any better than that! It searches my pockets for carrots and rubs my face with those prickly whiskers. Grace has the cutest nose!




That soft spot!! Do you know the spot I am talking about? It sits right between her nostril and her lips. It is warm in the winter and cold in the summer. I think I have kissed it every day for the last 10 years.

Then there are those lips. Grace uses them to kiss me right on the lips when I have a carrot in my hand. If I don't give her a treat right away she then uses her lips to grab my nose. It was a cute trick when I taught it to her. Who am I kidding, I still love it when she does that!

Grace has the most beautiful face. She is so expressive, I never have to wonder what she is thinking. She has big jowls and a small nose. It gives her a "baby doll" head look. She is often mistaken for an Arab. I've also been asked how old my "baby" is.

Her eye! Grace has the softest, sweetest eyes. She can see straight into your soul with them. I wish I had natural eye liner like hers.

Grace has a great rear end! It has changed many times over the years. I can always tell if she has been using her hind end by the shape of her butt. Looks really good right now!

Grace's back! Some days it seems to be a mile long. In the last year it has gained a lot of muscle and is much stronger. It is my favorite place to sit.

I guess my favorite part of Grace is all of her parts!

They all tie together to make one spectacular little mare!

Night Mare

I knew on the way home that tonight was the night. I hadn’t sat on my horse's back in 3 days and my rear end was starting to miss the place that felt like home. It was windy but dry on my walk home from the bus stop. The snow from the day before was a distant memory and the now 48 degree temperature felt almost tropical. This was the 4th day in a row I had used the bus to commute to work. I was getting used to walking in the dark. My reflective orange safety vest and miner’s head lamp were now an integral part of my daily wardrobe.

Grace gave me an impatient nicker when she saw me walk past the house and up to her pasture. She was still adjusting to my new work hours. I stopped by the hay tent to get her a small flake before returning to the house.I knew she would do better with a little roughage in her system. The last time I hauled after work on an empty stomach I spent the rest of the night apologizing for the ulcer flare I should have seen coming.

After giving Grace twenty minutes to eat, Belle and I headed back out to the pasture. Belle took off to dart under the bottom wire of the electric fence in Grace’s direction. Grace lunged at the dog, ears pinned against her head as she leapt across the muddy pasture. They were still at it when I opened the gate, I rather naively expected Grace to walk up to me. As she let out a squeal and twisted in the air, I knew it was going to be one of those nights. I had talked myself out of riding in the bareback pad by the time I tied Grace to the trailer. She was much calmer on Monday night when we did ground work in the dark, but that was before a major weather change and two days off in a row. After tacking up, I secured my head lamp to my helmet,stepped off the wheel hub of the horse trailer and swung a leg over Grace’s saddle. My rear end didn’t get its much anticipated homecoming, as Grace bounced up the driveway towards the Saddle Club. Grace spooked at the reflection of the head lamp against the trees and the puddles as we walked into the arena. I took a deep breath, reached up to my helmet and switched the light off.

The change in the energy was instantaneous. Grace’s jig settled into an even steady walk. I could hear her clean foot falls in the wet sand over the sound of the wind. I felt the symmetry of my seat bones in the saddle on either side of her spine. As I made out the outline of the arena fence and the looming trees behind it, it occurred to me that this was the most centered I had ever felt on my horse’s back. Somehow taking away all the visual noise of the daylight had heighted my sense of feel. The core of my body was able to adjust and follow to the smallest movements generated by the horse underneath me. The more we walked in the dark, the more I started to see.

Sunday Cows

Grace and I went to a local cow sorting on Sunday. It has been a month since we had the chance to be on cows. Grace had a great time! Cow work is a reward for her, she loves it so much.

There were more riders there than the last time we went. It's a pretty low key set up, but organized at the same time. I love that I can haul in, warm up, get in 4-5 runs and be home in 2 hours. I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Sunday afternoon!

Neither can Grace!

Embracing Change

Today is the last day of my job. I start my new one on Monday. It is 3:25am and I am wide awake! It has occurred to me in the last 24 hours that I have handled this major change in my life with flying colors. There was a time in my life when I despised change, and would tend to stay in a bad situation just because it was familiar. This time around I planned for the change, did it on my terms and then embraced it. At 36 years old I am one step closer to becoming a grown up!

I’ve had this week to train the replacement that I hired. I have a ton of confidence in the person taking over my position. I received over 50 resumes in a 24 hour period for what is going to be a part time position. I only interviewed 4 of them, she was number 3 and she proceeded to knock my socks off. Not only is she super organized and is a numbers person (the main focus is accounting), I have the utmost confidence that she will last through day two without crying! I feel that my “special” engineers are in good hands and I can leave them safely behind. I may not even have to change my cell phone number!

My only reservation in the job change has been Grace. The new job will be getting me home later at night, especially since I have decided to ride the bus. The days are just now getting longer, but we still have a few months before it is light enough for me to get a ride in after 6:00pm. I am not a weekend rider. Grace is not a weekend horse. We are also at another breakthrough point in our training, and I don’t want to give her a long period of time off in between rides. While I know it wouldn’t kill Grace to have 5 days off in a row, I am very aware that it might just be the end of me. My horse is my happy place. I rediscover my sanity every time I swing a leg over her back.

I thought I had it all figured out with the neighbor’s indoor arena, but she let me know this week that she isn’t ready to have it open to the public. Something about pending electrical inspections, running lights off an extension cords, fear of electrocution. I could always haul up to Diamond Hill Ranch, but the idea of hooking up the trailer and hauling later at night is not the most appealing to me. There is a constant delicate balance that I practice between work, horse and husband. Getting home from the barn after 9:00pm on a regular basis would most likely throw that off. Besides, I am taking the bus to work to save wear and tear on the truck, not sure that it makes sense to then haul my horse the 5 short miles to the barn every night.

With all this weighing heavily on my mind, I went to my lesson with Sarah last night. Sarah noticed the improvement in Grace as soon as I got on. I showed her what we have been working on and we built from there. It started out great with Grace working over her back and me working her off my leg, but then after 10 minutes we were back into our old cycle. Sarah noticed that I was riding off my hand. I realized that I was only riding off my hand because Grace was no longer responding to my leg. We stopped right there and fixed the problem through a series of exercises that helped me to get Grace off my hand and working back off my leg. I finally felt like I had a clear understanding of how to get this horse trained. I mentioned to Sarah that the work we are doing feels so basic, but it is not something that either Grace or I were ready for in the past. I wondered out loud what it would be like to start a young horse with these methods, working over their back in the correct posture from day one. How much farther along would I be? Sarah was quick to point out that it was only because of the time I had spent with Grace that I was now at this pivotal place. If I had given up on Grace years ago, and replaced her with a horse that would pack me around in my imbalanced body, I would never have grown as a horseman.

It was about this time that it occurred to me that this entire lesson was being done at the walk. Grace’s muscles were starting to tire from working in the new frame. We had reached a major milestone in our training without breaking a sweat. I then had a “light bulb” moment. I could continue to do all this same work at home in the dark. Grace can see at night, we have a safe place to ride, I have a head lamp, why not? I asked Sarah if we could finish the lesson with some groundwork so I would have more exercises to work on at home. The ground work backed up everything we had just done under saddle. We were able to focus on problem areas and came up with exercises to fix them.

I loaded Grace into the trailer even more excited about the new job. I no longer felt limited by the lack of daylight. I am now ready to turn the page and start the next chapter. Bring on the change!

And this one makes it 50!

I was going to wait until tomorrow to write a new post, but then I realized that if I did one more for the year, it would make it an even 50. That's a big improvement over the 3 from 2009! I'm not one to make New Year’s resolutions; I prefer instead to take a look back at the past year to see what I have learned. Here we go!

1. I need to write! You may not need to or even want to read this blog, but I need to write it. Someday when (if) I grow up I am going to be a writer. I have several book ideas bouncing around in my head. There are scenes that play out in my head and keep me up at night. I need to make the time to sit down and write them out. I get busy with life and the book ideas get thrown on the back burner. This blog reminds me that I am a writer and that is what I should be doing. I am writing this post on the new home computer that I bought (financed) myself today. My last home computer fried its mother board a few months ago. I am starting a new job that will not allow me the freedom to write on their time (it's one of those "grown up" jobs). As I was walking out of the store today, still a little shell shocked from the money I had just agreed to spend I reminded myself "I am a writer!" Maybe the monthly payments are the kick in the butt I need to get the book started!

2. All that positive thinking mumbo jumbo I preach to my friends really does work! Two years ago I met a woman that changed my life. She was in the right place at just the right time. She was a life coach that taught Law of Attraction. I became her student and I have never been the same. The ironic thing is that a friend tried to show me the exact same information 8 years earlier, but I wasn't ready for it at the time. I must have been too busy being miserable. That basic premise for Law of Attraction is that you can create your destiny through your thoughts. Like attracts like - so if you think positive thoughts, you create a positive experience. If you think negative thoughts - you create a negative experience. In the past year I have made the choice to be happy, I finally understood that it was a choice I had to make and that only I could chose it for me. I then went on to create! At one point during the year I had decided that I no longer enjoyed my job. After complaining about it for a while I started to focus on what I wanted, instead of what I didn't want. I started looking for another job. Everyone around me told me how bad the job market was and that I was lucky to have the job I was at. I continued to believe that there was something better out there. I had a list of requirements for the new job -

1. It had to pay the same or more than the job I was at, I did not want to work for less.
2. It had to include medical benefits as the position I was at did not.
3. I wanted to work with customers - I needed to know that when I went home at night, I had made the world a better place, even if it was just for one person a day.
4. It had to be an American company that invested in the country I lived in. I grew very tired this year of my company's motto "It can be done cheaper in China!"
5. I did not want to commute any farther than I already was.
6. I wanted to work with "real" people again, ones with social skills!

So, let me tell you about the new job. I start on January 10th

1. The start pay is the same salary that I have been making for the last year.
2. It has a very comprehensive benefits package including; medical, dental, retirement, vision, short term and long term disability and a whole host of other things I may not even take advantage of!
3. I will be working directly with customers on the phone all day long! I will be working with them in a support position, my job is to make a system "seamless" for them.
4. It is an American company, started right here in my hometown. In the past 3 years they have grown 1100% and were named one of Puget Sound’s 100 best places to work. From what I have seen, they reinvest in the community and in their employees.
5. My new office is less than 6 miles from my house. I am actually considering riding the bus to work. The bus stop is less than a mile from my house; the bus would drop me off at the ferry terminal which is half a mile from the office. My mechanic said driving the diesel truck that short distance every day is a big no-no. The bus will only cost $50 per month. The bus schedule just so happens to work perfectly with my work schedule.
6. There are 100 employees at my new office. I had my first interview in the office's Tiki Lounge. The one person I know that works there just so happens to be a horse person! I have met a few of the people I will be working directly with; all of them seem to be very positive, outgoing and friendly.

3. Ok, enough about be - What about Grace? This year I learned what it means to do right by Grace. I finally let go of my agenda and focused more on the relationship with my beautiful mare. There was a time in the spring when I thought Grace may have ended up being a pasture pet for the rest of her life, and I was ok with that. I’ve learned that Grace could care less about ribbons, belt buckles, high points or trophies. She just wants to go out and experience the world – with me. Whether we are chasing a cow, exploring a new trail out in the forest, or hitting the perfect point of harmony in the arena, the one common denominator is that we are doing it together. We hit a new level of trust this year. There were many time when I was able to leave Grace alone and just let her do her job. Each time she rewarded me with new level of awe. I lost count of how many times this year I said out loud “I love this horse!” during a ride. There were also times when I asked Grace to do something that she was convinced she could not. I broke it down into smaller pieces, allowing her to build on her successes along the way. She trusted me and in the end is more balance, stronger and possibly for the first time in her life “sound”!

I look forward to 2011, knowing that whatever I put my mind to is already there waiting for me. Most of all I am looking forward to another year of adventures with Grace. There is no better feeling in the world than the moment she learns something new and then the excitement that follows when she figures out that she is good at it. I just so happen to be the privileged human that gets to sit on her back in those magical moments.

Somedays we are 17 hands tall!

“Scrape, scrape, scrape..” I could hear the distinct sound of Grace’s left hind toe dragging across the wet sand as we entered the arena. I absolutely hated that sound. It meant she wasn’t 100%. Sound – by the very definition of the word Grace wasn’t. On a draped rein, I walked her past the reflective sliding glass door of the club house at the edge of the arena. I could see that while her stride behind was even, it was short she was not stepping up underneath herself.

I knew I shouldn’t be this upset, at our last lesson Sarah confirmed that Grace’s hock was good, she wasn’t in pain. Grace had even held her last adjustment. It was just the muscles now that needed to get strong. We were once again fighting muscle memory. Grace had been off on her left hind for so long, she didn’t know how to use it correctly.

Grace seemed convinced that stepping up underneath herself and crossing over with her left hind was impossible! At least under saddle it was. She was getting the concept on the ground more consistently, but every time I added myself and the saddle back into the equation it all went out the window.

Today I had ditched the saddle and my spurs for the bareback pad and a dressage whip. In our last few rides I started to see the root of the problem. Grace still wasn’t moving off my leg. I was running out of excuses for her obstinance. For the last few months I had worked on my leg position. I was finally done fighting my body and brain, my legs hung long under my hips, my calves stayed in contact with my mare’s sides. After 20 years I had finally let go of the squatty potty equitation position. My low back was no longer hollow and tight. I was able to feel Grace’s hind end movements or lack there of.

As I guided Grace onto a large circle on one end of the vast arena I could already hear Sarah’s voice in my head “Use your outside aids to turn her.” I started to build a gentle wall with my right leg and rein. Grace’s step behind started to feel more even. She was now walking on more of a large square than a circle. I knew the next step would be to bring in my left leg; the challenge would be to do it without pulling on my left rein. I focused on keeping the contact on the outside wall, I closed my left leg. Grace immediately leaned into to the pressure of my inside leg; I instinctively curled up my spurless left heel and gave her a little kick. Irritated, Grace let out a grunt and swished her tail. Sarah’s voice jumped into my head again “DON’T bring your heel up like that! It throws you out of position!” I rebuilt the now lost outside wall of leg and hand, I placed my inside leg just behind Grace’s girth and added pressure. As soon as I felt Grace push into the pressure, I tickled her with the dressage whip behind my left leg. Grace let out a squeal as she leapt to the right, landing in a jigging gait somewhere between a walk and a jog. She was not happy, but she had moved her left hind leg over in response to the pressure.

I gave her a few seconds to settle down. I rebuilt the outside wall again, this time determined to keep it intact when I added the inside aid. This time when I added the inside leg, something clicked. I felt Grace’s hind end step up underneath me. Her stride was longer. I kept the contact elastic in the outside wall, following her head and neck as it dropped lower into the bridle. I started to time the pressure of the inside leg with the motion of Grace’s inside leg. And then it happened. Grace’s wither lifted up from underneath me. A walk past the clubhouse doors confirmed it, her stride behind was longer. My 15 hand mare was now 17 hands tall. Her foot falls were even and clean the scraping sound was gone. I smiled as the feeling of harmony spread over me; we were now in balance moving as one together.

After repeating the same exercise at the walk to the right it occurred to me that this was very basic dressage. Something that had eluded me for many years was fundamental training for every dressage queen that I assumed to be stuck on an eternal 20 meter circle. I took a deep breath, desperate to not lose the moment as I asked for the jog. The transition surprised me; the usual resistance and attitude were gone. Grace’s first step was so big; it almost threw me out of position. I softened my lower back so I could follow hers. As I allowed the jog to build into a trot, I began to regret my recent absence from the gym. My weakened abdominal muscles were not able to stay engaged over the now powerful rhythmic movements of my horse’s hind end. “Saddle tomorrow” I thought to myself “and I need to start running!”

We finished the ride with a lope in both directions. Grace gave me 5 strides in each direction before falling into the big explosive trot. That was a big improvement over her tendency to drop her back and run when she was tired. As we walked out of the arena gate, Grace gave a little jig. It was her “I feel really good right now” dance, usually reserved for after a barrel run or reining pattern.


The next day....

It was early in the day for a ride; Grace was still eating her breakfast. From what I had just seen on the weather report we had maybe an hour before the yellow and green images on the Doppler radar would mean rain over the north end of Bainbridge Island. I had plans to accompany mom to the city for her doctor’s appointment in the afternoon. After yesterday’s ride there was no way I was missing out on today. Belle and I trudged up the hill to get Grace. As she walked across her muddy pasture to join me, I could almost swear she was moving better behind. “No, can’t be” I said out loud. I had driven myself crazy in this exact same spot in the past, always trying to judge her level of soundness from outside the pasture.

We tacked up, this time with the saddle and spurs and headed to the arena. It was the Monday after Christmas, and while I was home from work, the rest of the world it seemed was not on holiday. I could hear the sounds of the morning commute on the nearby highway the closer we got to the arena. The sound of the carpenter’s hammers working furiously to finish the neighbor’s barn pounded out as Grace walked across the wet sand. As we walked a circle on a loose rein, it took me a few moments to notice that one sound was missing. There was no scrape coming from Grace’s left hind toe. We walked by the clubhouse doors on the loose rein; Grace’s stride behind was even and long. Right on cue Sarah’s voice jumped into my head “This mare needs to be in the bridle when you ride her. She gets 23 hours a day when she can do what she wants. Make her work during this one.”

We started out on a large circle to the left. Again I gently built the outside wall. As I closed the fingers on my right rein, Grace bent her neck to the right. I had to soften my feel; she was much more responsive to my aids today. After adding my outside leg to her right side, I said out loud “Inside Leg before hand”. When I brought in the inside leg Grace stepped up into a jog. I exhaled to get her to settle. What was she anticipating? Maybe the same thing that I was? I walked her into a small circle, using my outside aids to turn her off the wall. This time when I added my inside leg, it was there. Grace’s wither lifted the saddle up underneath me, she was 17 hands again. We hadn’t lost it, it wasn’t a fluke, we actually got somewhere during yesterday’s ride.

We continued to work both directions at the walk. Grace was starting to anticipate direction changes and no longer seemed to mind being asked to step underneath with her inside hind leg. I was grateful for the addition of the saddle when we worked up to the trot. I made the decision to post for a few circles, getting my weight out of her back. Grace seemed to float above the wet ground as she lengthened her stride. Who was this horse?

Now it was time for the acid test, could she stay this balanced at the lope? I guided Grace onto a smaller circle to the right at the trot. Keeping the outside wall intact, I asked her to step over and under with the inside leg. Grace’s cue for the lope has always been the release of the inside leg, the idea being that it allows her to step up with that inside leg and step off, as opposed to using an outside leg aid behind the girth to throw her onto that inside leg. It also keeps me as a rider in balance with my horse, all I have to do for the cue is to rotate my inside ankle slightly away from her body, instead of sliding my outside leg behind the girth, potentially moving the balance of my upper body forward at exactly the moment when my horse needs it out of her way.
I released my inside leg, Grace stepped into the lope. It was a clean smooth transition, not the big freaking deal she usually makes of it. I brought the inside leg back in, asking Grace to lift her back. In the past few weeks, this has been the breaking point where she drops her back and runs. Instead, she lifted her back and gave me 10 strides of the cleanest in the ground lope before falling back to a trot. I gave her a big pet and changed directions. The left lead, our nemesis! I didn’t want to give either of us much time to think about it, I asked again just as I had to the right. Grace stepped into the left lead lope like it was no big deal. I glanced down at her head and neck; she was straight, but not stiff. I added the inside leg and her back lifted. After 10 strides, I said “Whoa”. Grace stopped on her hind end and exhaled. I dropped the reins and make a big freaking deal out of her. As we danced out of the arena on a loose rein it occurred to me that I may never have the 1d time at a barrel race, win a championship at a horse show or even a high point belt buckle, but I will know what it feels like to be one with my horse, even if just for a few strides at a time.

Merry Christmas from Grace

Really people? A Santa hat? I heard my horse friends talking about this method of torture, but I never thought my owner would go this route.

Of course she is the same lady that dyes my mane and tail.

If you're going to put a stupid hat on me and take pictures, at least get my good side! Especially when I am having a good hair day!




Humpft! Still wearing the hat.
Oh well, Merry Christmas everyone!

- Grace