Yes – I owe you all an update on Grace, Joe and my life in
general. Grace loves her new life teaching lessons and seems to appreciate not
being asked to be a show horse. I am in love with Joe – I just took him to a
schooling show this weekend and he was a superstar. We still need to figure
each other out and have work to do at home but it was such a great experience to
bring a show horse to the horse show. I was able to warm him up and lope him in
the crowded indoor warm up pen – something I’ve never been able to do with
Grace without her exploding from the tension. This got me thinking about show
ring confidence – where does it come from?
If you’ve read my blog in the past, especially when I posted
consistently (I promise I’m close to getting back at it) you know that I have
struggled with show ring confidence for years. I rode hunter/jumpers when I was
younger and was continually overfaced at shows. My nemeses were wide 3’6”
oxers. Why in the world did I think I could handle them at shows when I was not
confident over them at home? It only took a few crashes for me to start to fear
the show ring. I walked away from jumping, started riding Western and took the
fear into my rail classes. My smart little mare tuned into my show ring tension
and would take over doing her own thing, which only led to more tension on my
part. I have sought out breathing techniques, calming supplements, phycology,
and endless searches on the Interwebs. Last year I excelled at shows where I
was the big fish in the small pond, but when we visited the big pond all the
tension came back and the rides were downright embarrassing. I’m not sure that I was ready to show at that
level, but then again the only way to show at that level is to actually show at
that level.
I know where all the fear comes from but would like to know
where show ring confidence comes from. This thought was bouncing around in my
head last week when I gave my first customer facing webinar at work. I happen
to love public speaking and this was a subject that I was incredibly comfortable
with. I walked a group of new customers through the basic set up of their
software. It is something I’ve done over 1,000 times and have said that I can
do it in my sleep. The webinar went off exactly how I had anticipated, the
customer response was very positive along with my co-workers who attended. It
left me wanting do to more of the same work. I’ll be honest I got a downright
rush from it. I will be holding that webinar weekly for some time and I have
another coming up at the end of the month. I am not as well versed in the next
webinar subject matter but I know I need to walk into it with the same level of
confidence so I fully intend to spend the next two weeks prepping.
But isn’t that what I
do when I ride every day? At home I work my horse though a series of exercises
to get them strong enough for the show pen. With Joe I work to keep him
straight, get his shoulder up and put myself in the correct position for him to
be successful. I did all of that with Grace, but when I let her go in the show
pen if I had any tension at all the work at home was not there to fall back on.
This weekend when I had Joe in the warm up pen I asked him to lope. The lope he
gave me was slower, deeper and more in the ground that anything he’s given me
at home. The grin on my face said it all – I was finally sitting on a big girl
horse! I told Sarah that I had no clue how to ride this lope. She said “what,
the no squealing and bucking?” Exactly! Joe and I were passed on the rail in
our class at the lope by more than one horse. I had no idea that was possible
for me. Joe and I still need to find the balance of me letting him go and helping
him out.
I find Western Pleasure to be an interesting discipline, we prep the
horses by doing all kinds of exercises to get them strong enough to go slow on
a loose rein, but at some point need to also let them get comfortable on that
loose rein and still have control of the body. I supposed that is where my “leg”
that Sarah is always talking about comes into play. That again for me will need
to become second nature before I go to it in the show pen. The last thing my
body wants to do when the horse feels like it is going too fast on a loose rein
is adding leg. Makes sense to my brain, body just still isn’t onboard. When I
can do it in my sleep then I will be ready.
My show ring confidence came the hard way. I was tossed in the ring, way over my head, over and over again. I embarrassed myself, was embarrassed by my horse, and was still challenged to show and sort things out. My nerves were a constant battle. Then...I started to work on a single issue with each show. Was it the corner heading down the fence, getting out lope depart without 10 penalty points along with....whatever. I got to know people, felt them rooting for me, scribed for judges until I quit being afraid and started having fun. Finally, I began to place. Then, I started to come in the money. Then, once in a while, I scored a decent win. These days, I am better mounted, better educated and have a seriously good time when I show. I hang with people I have known for years and get to meet new ones. Do I still lack confidence? Yes. But, as soon as the gate closes between me and my horse, it is only the thrill of our sport. My nerves completely leave. When I come out? Time for a beer with friends. Hang in there. Oh yeah, I forgot, I worked like a maniac too, and when I show in my sleep, they are always good dreams.
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