My Part of the Equation

Lately I feel like I am holding Grace back. In the last 6 months she has become the horse I thought she could be the day I bought her. I’ve have seen more potential in that little mare in the last year than I have in the 12 years before it. She is starting to look like she belongs in the show pen, and is starting to place in the primary colors. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in the last few weeks drinking in photos from 3 straight weekends of shows that all happened to have a professional photographer. I can’t help but see the stiffness and imbalance in the rider and I wonder just how much better the horse could be if the rider could become one with her. 

I ride 6 to 7 days a week in the summer and 4 to 5 days in the week all winter – all outside. I bust my ass to make myself better for my horse, but I still feel like I falll short. I’m never quite sure what the other riders at the shows are doing that I am not or maybe they are not doing something that I am? I’ve had some great lessons with Sarah lately that are creating some amazing body awareness. One lesson focused on breathing, pulling my breath up into my shoulders, filling my sternum with air before letting it out and melting into my horse. At last week’s lesson I had a moment at the jog that was downright magical; I could feel my horse’s joints bending through my seat and hips, and felt her place each hoof on the ground. The next day I became frustrated at home when I couldn’t capture the same feeling at the lope as I had at the lesson. Why is this so freaking hard?

I had an appointment at the Strength Lab today with James Bowman and I shared with him some of the body issues I’m having in the saddle. From my arched lower back to my tight hip flexors and hamstrings, I went through all the areas that I tense when riding. We discussed that I am not in pain like I was years ago, but my body is still guarding itself when I'm riding, preparing for the inevitable fall especially at the lope. The more I talked the more I could see the wheels in James head turning; he was quickly jotting notes down and calling out names of exercises. At one point there were 7 exercises on the list leading me to believe that this was not going to be one of those wonderful hour long body work sessions. 

James took me through each exercise first giving me a demo and then talking me through each move as I tried it. Each move was structured to build strength while increasing mobility, James explained that they are equally important in the saddle. Each exercise looked easy enough when he did it, but I found them to be both mentally and physically challenging, yet by the 3^rd or 4^th repetition my brain and body started to figure it out and my range of motion increased. My hips felt amazing by the end of the session and the tension in my low back was replaced by engagement from my abdominals. I have my homework laid out in front of me; 7 exercises that with a warm up should only take 30 minutes a day and I am only to do them 3 days a week. James said that if I am consistent I should see dramatic results in 6-8 weeks and if the exercises become too easy to let him know and he will step it up for me.  I promise to keep you updated and will even break down some of the exercises over the next few weeks. My goal is to be able to pull my weight in the partnership that I’ve built with that amazing little mare.

Things my Trainer Already Knows

I think I am finally starting to figure Grace out under saddle. It’s only taken 10 years but I am starting to finally feel some of the things that Sarah has been telling me all this time. The difference is now that I am getting my body balanced I can “feel” what it is she was talking about. This discovery like any other that I make with this horse brings me back to the chicken and egg question. Are Grace’s issues a direct result of my imbalance? Are my imbalances a result of Grace’s issues? Is it a combination of the two of us feeding off each other’s imbalances? Here are things that I discovered in the last 2 weeks that my trainer has told me countless times in the past:

1.       Grace’s reaction to pressure is to suck back and slow down. She does this when I ask her to move her hip, her shoulder or her ribcage; she does it in upward transitions. If I don’t correct it she drops her back and dumps her shoulder making the upward transition or lateral movement just downright ugly. I’ve spent entire rides in the last week just working to keep her at one steady pace no matter what I was asking of her. I’d like to tell you she is a lazy horse and is doing it to get out of work, but I can’t help but look at the fact that for years anytime I was under pressure in the saddle I froze, locked my body down and didn’t move. Kind of like a human form of sucking back. Coincidence? – I think not. The good news is that it has only taken a few rides to reprogram the two of us. The right shoulder and left hock issues seem to resolve on their own. It is amazing how nice she moves when I keep my body moving.

2.         Grace has never been taught to just sit and chill. I really want to compete in trail class with this horse, but I get frustrated when she lifts her head, drops her back and takes over on course. We started to get it at the practice show so I wanted to build on that. When it was time to give her a breather tonight I parked her in between some poles to get ready to side pass them. I asked her just to sit there for a minute or two. You would have thought the world had ended. She lifted her head, I asked her to put it down, she lifted her head, I asked her to put it down, repeat. She pawed at the pole, I asked her to stand. She spooked at something in the woods, I asked her to stand with her head down. She tuned into the horses next door, I asked her to stand with her head down. ONLY when she stood still and relaxed did I even think of side passing the pole. Even then it was a step at a time, correct her head, ask her to stand and continue again. After 10 minutes we went back to work in another part of the arena and started the process all over again when it was time for a breather. It did get easier with time and she started to become a horse I would like to sit on at a show. Guess what we will be doing for the next few weeks?

3.       Everything I do in the saddle affects the movement of my horse. If there was one thing that I took away from our Yoga for Equestrians classes it was using the placement of my belly to establish my center of gravity. When we were learning a new movement we were told to put our bellies in the space first and out bodies would follow. I started playing with this under saddle. These are small movements, almost more of an awareness of where my center is and I am just amazed by how little control I had of it. Turns out most of the time my belly is trying to throw itself at my horse’s ears. This throws all of my weight onto her front end; no wonder I couldn’t get her to free up her right shoulder. I have again spent entire rides in the last week focused on my belly. I visualized it sitting on my horse’s hocks. Big surprise my lower back softens when I do that and my horse starts to sit on her hind end. I can side pass and half pass my horse with ease when I think of leading the movement with my belly.

As much as I appreciate the discovery process and amazing journey I’ve taken with Grace, I really look forward to the day that it all comes together and I have something to show for it. Here’s hoping that it comes sooner than later.

Results under saddle

My legs not only make sense to me now when walking, but it has translated in the saddle. For years I have been told to close my leg on my horse. I had a tendency to keep my lower leg off my horse; my legs were often jutted out in front of the girth. My leg position has improved tremendously over the last year, but I won’t lie to you, it has been a lot of work. I had to consciously think about it every time I rode. I first had to take the arch out of my low back,breathe,  soften my lower back, breathe, focus on my abs, breathe, reposition my seat, breathe, and then I could find my leg position. I had to correct it several times throughout a ride. Just as soon as I thought I was getting somewhere it would be time to lope and it would all go to hell. Still with a 6 day a week riding schedule, regular lessons with Sarah and the occasional lesson with Peggy, I’ve really made some progress. My butt no longer slaps the saddle in the lope, something I thought I might never overcome. The biggest difference I’ve noticed in the saddle after my sessions at the Strength Lab is that I don’t have to work near as hard to achieve a balanced, efficient position in the saddle.

I rode Grace when I got home from the cranial sacral session with James. For the most part I didn’t ask anything of Grace, I really just wanted to see what my body would do. As soon as I settled into the saddle I noticed that my legs were in contact with my horse’s side. My feet were pointed forward, just like on the ground I couldn’t quit staring at them. I was in awe of the fact that I didn’t have to force them into this position, it was natural and comfortable. My ankles, knees and hips were all soft and relaxed, ready to absorb shock, just as they were intended to. For the first time ever I was able to utilize the “come along” leg cue that Peggy Cummings taught me. It has been a source of frustration for me for the last 6 months; I had finally decided that it just wasn’t for me or my horse. Even with Peggy standing there I wasn’t able to get my leg to do the subtle cue without becoming tense and losing the softness in my back. Now for the first time I understood exactly what she was talking about when she told me that she should not be able to see the movement in my thigh when I moved them within my jeans for the cue. This time when I gave the cue Grace’s hind end seemed to wake up underneath me as she lengthened her stride behind stepping up into the contact. Gone was the ear pinning and head toss that had been her answer to me every time I had applied the cue in the past. We were getting somewhere.


Grace has been lovely to ride since her appointment with the dentist, but on the ground she has been less than pleasant. She’s been biting at the halter when I bring it towards her face, she bites at the air when I brush her and tack her up. If I didn’t know this mare so well my response would be to immediately discipline her, going after her total lack of respect. But I do know my mare, and when she behaves this badly she is screaming at me that something isn’t right, it’s her way of saying “fix it dammit!” Sarah had mentioned that Grace could use some cranial sacral work the week after her dentist appointment. I had let two weeks slip by and I was pretty sure I was paying for it. I set up a time to have Sarah work on Grace. I couldn’t help but notice that during her session Grace didn’t bite at the air, the halter or at Sarah. Grace can be very untrusting about having work done on her head and face, but she was totally into it, she was more than ready for uncovering this layer of the onion.


Sarah had me get on Grace after the session. When I arrived at the barn Sarah was riding Joe, one of her rehab horses. She was working him at the jog, constantly changing directions. From there she put him into the lope. Joe’s movements became more fluid with each bend. I noticed at the lope that Joe holds the ground longer with his hoofs, the mechanical movements that he arrived with in Sarah's program are now gone. Sarah had me practice the jog exercise on Grace. I was to change directions while really asking her to bend, and keeping her driving up from behind. The exercise had to be fluid and forward, the goal was to not give Grace a chance to stiffen her jaw while changing from one direction to the other. After a few reminders from Sarah about keeping my body soft, holding the ball in my lap and breathing, it started to come together. The softer Grace became in her face, the bigger her movement was behind. When she forgot to stiffen her jaw she also forgot to stiffen her hock. Never one’s to leave well enough alone we moved onto the lope…..

Integrative Neurosomatic Therapy - Results Part 1

I’ve had 2 sessions now with James Bowman at Strength lab since my initial measurements. I’ve been wearing the lift in my left shoe and sitting on a lift under my right seat bone for 2 weeks now. When I went back to the Strength Lab for my first follow up appointment I was fully expecting to be given a series of exercises that would involve pain and sweat. Much to my pleasant surprise that visit involved massage and simple stretches. I brought the saddle that I am currently riding in just to make sure I had the lift on the right side of the seat set up correctly. After measuring my saddle rack with a level and getting it just right, James had me sit in the saddle to check if I was now level. After more detailed measurements I was given the all clear on my seat lift.


At the beginning or our session James asked me where I was feeling any tension or pain since using the lifts. He then went to work on those spots, first getting the muscle into a relaxed state and then holding the neurological point of it for 90 seconds to get it to release. I was amazed on how he found areas that I didn’t know where holding. When he talked about addressing the muscle from a neurological standpoint I could not help but thing of Peggy’s work .The stretches he gave me were for my neck and scalenes which were adjusting to my ever decreasing head tilt and for my back, any time it was tight. He also recommended Epsom salt soaks to help the muscles. I had no problem complying with the rather relaxing protocol.


My next appointment was this last Wednesday; I couldn’t wait to tell James some of the changes I was experiencing. I knew he would understand what was going on, as I was just starting to grasp it. On my way home from the trail ride on Monday I could feel this strange sensation on the right side of my head. It felt like something releasing, a muscle – but it was spreading out along side my head like a fan. I was so fascinated by it that I looked up the muscles of the human head when I got home and sure enough I found the Temporalis Muscle which is shaped just like a fan! When I repeated this story to James along with the change I had seen in Grace since her dental work he said it was the perfect time for cranial sacral work. When James got to the Temporalis Muscle on the right side of my head I was amazed by how tender it was. Even with his light touch it felt like I had sustained a blow to the head. He had me follow his finger so I could feel the tight band running through the muscle. These are the same tight bands I look for when doing massage work on Grace. James continued on even doing muscle releases inside my mouth and tongue. That was quite the experience! I had no idea just how many muscles were inside the mouth, luckily they all released quickly. My jaw felt amazing, I don’t think I could clench or grind my teeth now if I tried.


When the session was finished I stood up slowly not knowing what to expect. James had explained to me how the cranial work relates to the hip joints; this explained why I kept getting chills in my quads while during the session. He had me stand square so he could take a hip measurement; only this time standing square did not feel foreign to me, it actually felt quite comfortable. The hip measurement confirmed that my pelvic tilt was now at 9 degrees, only 2 weeks before it had been at 14 degrees. When I stood at the front desk on my way out I could not help staring at my feet, they were underneath me and I was standing on both legs comfortably. This sounds elementary, but for years I have always stood with one hip cocked or a knee bent, standing on both legs at the same time is out right painful most of the time. I also noticed that my teeth were lined up. Gone was the offset position of my jaw. This lined up centered feeling was downright odd!


The next day I really started to notice the changes. I am in total awe of my feet. For the first time I can feel the ground under the arch of my foot when I walk. I even go out of my way to walk on uneven surfaces so I can feel the sensation. My foot lands heel first and almost all of my foot makes contact with the ground at some point in my step. My hips, knees and ankles are all relaxed and fluid. Standing is much easier now, I am able put the same amount of weight on both legs. Gone is my past stance of always having one hip cocked or one knee bent. I am starting to feel like I am for the first time starting to use my body in the way it was designed. The real magic happened two days after the session I climbed back into the saddle…….